Categories: Dating

Dating Strategies 101: Playing Hard to Get

Like preferences in food, drinks, clothing, music and just about everything else, preferences in relationship style vary widely from person to person and couple to couple. While some like a casual, non-exclusive relationship from time to time, others may thrive only in a secure, committed relationship environment. Emotional “baggage” from previous romances and our individual personalities shape our dating preferences throughout our lives, and often the direction the relationship takes is dependent on one’s significant other as well.

In any dating situation, no matter how old or new, playing a little bit hard to get can often increase the excitement and the level of desire in a relationship. Before you put your strategy into action, though, you must learn the proper balance involved. It is very important to gauge your partner’s level of interest so you don’t push him or her away. Read on for some tips in entry-level playing hard to get!

When testing the dating pool waters to see if any fish are worth reeling in, one must remember that the chase itself is nearly as important as the end result. Rushing into things sometimes puts on too much pressure, even in the perfect relationship. Taking too much of a nonchalant, lackadaisical attitude toward the relationship can also cause irreparable damage, making your mate to feel devalued and less important than he or she truly is.

In budding relationships, sometimes taking a little time to get to know each other is the perfect transition into an exclusive partnership. While mothers and friends may urge you to “play the field,” you may not immediately see the value in their words.

Consider this – if you take your time getting into a new relationship and take good care to be certain it is the best one for you, that is so much better than rushing into the first relationship that comes along without a second thought. If you think you might benefit from dragging out your singledom just a teeny bit longer, do what you can to keep your new flame interested and hungry for more! Sometimes just an ounce of resistance initially is ultimately worth a pound of perfection.

The key to playing hard to get is simple. Give your new love interest enough to keep him or her wanting more, but always preserve a little mystery about you. Express your interest in your new guy or doll, but be careful not to throw yourself at him or her. Make time to see each other, but not every day. Make plans to get together, but let some time lapse from your last date to the actual planning of your next one.


…don’t let yourself be too available. Nothing is wrong with answering the phone on the first ring, but don’t sit around waiting for it. Go to yoga class, bake some cookies, shoot some hoops with friends, catch a flick, visit a relative or just plain get out of the house and do something. If you are eating dinner, watching a movie or television program or in the shower, let your voicemail pick up the message.

By filling your schedule with things you would like to do anyway and making time for your new squeeze, you let your new love know that he or she is to you, but that you have a life outside of your romantic endeavors. This is so important later down the line.

The same also applies to committed relationships. Perhaps you’ve been dating for a number of years, and while your relationships isn’t by any means stale, it may not be quite as exciting as it once was. One simple remedy is to play hard to get – even though your mate’s already got you! Make plans with your friends for a night out that doesn’t involve anyone’s dates. Plan a girls’ night out to dinner or the movies. Plan a guys’ night out to an exciting sporting event or concert. Remember that time apart from your honey doesn’t mean you love each other any less.

That little bit of added space between you every now and again only helps in intensifying the other’s desire for you. Does absence really make the heart grow fonder? Let me ask you this. If you snuggle up with your loved one every evening, and then all of a sudden you are going to sleep in a cold bed alone, will you miss him or her? No doubt about it.

So when you delve into a new relationship or as you seek a way to revive your current one, get a little devious, a little sexy and play a little bit hard to get. You and your partner might just benefit from a little game of cat and mouse!

 PR: wait…  I: wait…  L: wait…  LD: wait…  I: wait… wait…  C: wait…  SD: wait…

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Kathryn D'Imperio: