When it all comes down to it, some things never change and some things always change. Telephone strategy in new relationships seems to be one of those ever-changing, never-changing things for people. Some women even today still like for the man to do the calling, while more and more other women are taking the lead in calling their love interests.
Old fashioned telephone strategy and modern telephone strategy can both work in relationships as long as both parties are comfortable using the telephone. If one party is not a fan of the phone, shorter telephone calls and more in-person meetings may be beneficial for this relationship.
Many of our readers have shared their perspectives on telephone strategy in new relationships, such as when to call and who should do the calling. We’ve found a fair split with a number of women preferring the man do the calling with a number of other women being happy to make the first call in the new relationship. Read on for personal accounts of telephone strategy and preferences in a new relationship.
Old Fashioned Telephone Strategy in New Relationships – Let the Man Call the Woman
“My calling strategy for a new relationship is to wait at least 24 hours before I call him. (If I really like him, I pray that he calls in that 24 hours.) After that, I may wait a little longer depending on the situation – up to 3 days. If he hasn’t called by then, I call when I do not think he will answer and leave a message. That puts the ball in his court. If he calls, great. If not, we both move on. All of that being said, I would prefer that he do the calling. I’m an old-fashioned thinking southern belle, after all!”
- Cindy Badon, LA
“In a new relationship, I NEVER EVER call the man. He must call me to show me he is into me as in my experience men take much longer to fall!”
- Kayleigh Ann Farris, CA
“I don’t call the man first. Most men don’t like it. I let him do most of the calling. I like long conversations, but it really depends on the reason for the call. It is also nice to have brief calls to let him know I am thinking about him if he likes that.”
- Donna Kozar, IN
“Call me old fashioned (pun totally intended) but as a woman, I feel it is crucial that a man ask for my number first and he call me. Then, after the first date if she is still interested, communicate that clearly with tone and body language and let him call again. Women have grown too available and need to consider that part of the fun of dating and romance is the chase.”
- Sarah Conaway, VA
“My strategy is hard to get in a new relationship and to rely heavily on all the phones special features like, but not limited to caller Id. My phone style I wish I could say was brief and to the point – not, but tends to be long and very wordy!”
- Diane Baum
“I’m middle age so I’m a bit old school. I would let the man do the calling in a new relationship. If he leaves me a message to call him then I will. I don’t text so I would be leaving him a voicemail. I wouldn’t just call to talk until I really know him better and know that he likes to talk on the phone. A lot of men do not. I wouldn’t want him to think I’m being pushy.”
- Susan Smith, KS
“I waited for my husband to call first.”
- Aprill Marie Coleman, MS
“In a new relationship? I haven’t had a new relationship in years. But if I did I think I would not make the calls, I would let him. I would limit the time of his calls or my return calls at first to keep things fresh until we both feel comfortable with each other.”
- Marleen Davis, CA
“In a new relationship I usually don’t call first, that’s his job. After that I’ll call every once in a while just to say hello and I’m thinking about him. My typical phone conversation style is quick and to the point unless I’m talking to my hubby, my mom or one of my siblings then it’s a gab fest.”
- Laura Griggs, TX
“I always wait for him to call me first (Just picky I guess). I always keep my conversation 10 minutes or less – always leaving him wanting more and leaving more to talk about when we do see each other.”
- Suzy Horvath, OR
“I never make the first call, I was raised very strict and was taught never to call boys. I dated back in the seventies and if my parents ever caught me calling a boy it was a mortal sin according to them.
“Now I still wouldn’t call him, he would have to call me but I might make myself available at a spot that I know he might be and strike up a conversation there. I usually don’t hang on the phone too long. My conversations are rather short unless there happens to be a lot in common to chat about!”
- Joni Chadwell, PA
“I’d love to say I’m a liberated woman of the 21st century, but I’m not crazy about phoning a guy. As much as I wish we were all equal, it always seems a guy loves the thrill of the hunt. Sad, but true. I’d love to find the man who wouldn’t feel threatened by something as minor as a phone call. Until then, I still believe it’s best to wait for them to call ME. Sigh.”
- Jean Delehant
“Since I have not dated in 25 years, my ideas are probably antiquated. I do not think that women should call men. I would not want a text. I think that it is good to leave a message. I am not a talker so it is always short and sweet. I never called but of course I am old and have been married forever.”
- Kathy Scott, ID
Modern Take on Telephone Strategy in New Relationships – Women Can Do the Calling, Too…