Communication Styles – Little Desire to Use the Telephone, Dislike Using the Phone, or Prefer E-mail Instead

When it comes to using the telephone, some people love it and some people hate it. Truth be told, both scenarios are fairly common. Some people actually dislike using the phone so much that it may impact their relationships in one way or another. (photo courtesy of to technology these days, using the phone can often be replaced by text messaging, sending emails, and getting together in person instead.

A number of our readers recently shared their feelings on using the phone, and a number of them didn’t feel particularly fond of the telephone. Here are some thoughts and some alternatives to talking on the phone, when possible.

“I hate talking on the phone! So basically, I only call someone when I need to.  I’m not one of those girls who can sit and talk for hours nonstop on the phone.  That’s a complete waste of time to me. I’m in a serious committed relationship for years now.  I would have no idea how the calling strategies are these days in new relationships.

“I used to work as a collection agent for an engineering firm for 8 years.  I was on the phone Monday through Friday from 8 a.m. until 5 p.m. with an hour break for lunch.  I would call people to try to collect on the debts they owed.  I was hung up on, yelled at, cursed at, you name it.  I finally quit the job and decided I would never do it again.  I HATE talking on the phone.  Especially if it has to be more than a few minutes. I tend to do most of my communicating through personal contact, or text messaging, and sometimes e-mail.  So my answer to your question about my phone conversation style is, I only call when I need something or it is an emergency.”
– Tammy Marshall, CA

“I don’t really like to talk the phone.  I’m not a chatter. It seems like a waste of time. Caller ID is a must.  Unless it’s a family member I usually let the message machine get the call and return them at my leisure.
You have a much better chance getting my attention with an email as I’m at the computer most of the day.”
– Amy Stripling, AK

“I really dislike phone conversations because my voice often conveys a totally different thought than what I actually think. When I’m in a relationship, I try to stay off the phone.”
–  Kayce Crews, TN

“I’ve been married for almost fifteen years so I have no idea. I am not a phone person, I use it only when email is not an option.”
– Heather Slater, WA

“Usually when I make a new friend, our first ‘call’ is not on the phone – it’s an e-mail! This typically covers any information the other person had requested from me, like a website link. When a phone call becomes warranted, perhaps because some clarification of their request is needed, I will call within a few days of when we met. Unless my schedule is so tight that I can only take return calls at certain times, I will leave a message.

Some people actually dislike using the phone so much that it may impact their relationships in one way or another. (photo courtesy of“My phone conversation style varies depending on the circumstances. Sometimes a great deal of information needs to be exchanged, so the call will last 30 minutes or so. Other times it’s a quick ‘hi, how are you?’ and the call will be five minutes or less.”
– Jean Feingold, FL

“I will send a text then call after a few texts back and forth. I don’t leave voice mails unless I really need them to call me back for something.”
– Jennifer Tanner, GA

“I make them chase me or call me. It’s the thrill of the chase that turns men on. I will only call to return a message they left on my answering machine. I prefer quick calls. I do not like to talk on the phone. However, my friend likes to call me late at night and they go on and on! Urghhhhhhhh!”
– Marcy Lynn Strahan, TX

“I talk on the phone all day at work so when I am home I rarely talk on the phone for longer than a couple of minutes, I use the caller ID frequently.”
– Theresa Clift, OH

“My Phone Conversation Style:  I HATE talking on the phone.  It would definitely be the ONLY talk when needing something – I’d much rather just do email.”
– Shelley Krush, NV

“I am on the phone all day at work so I prefer not to talk on the phone at night unless it is my parents or a friend I have not spoken to in a while. I have to wait until it is free and clear to talk (kids are in bed) and I can have a leisurely conversation.  Otherwise I keep the conversations brief and to the point.”
– Mary Beth Isaac, NC

“Calling style: I have a phone phobia. I won’t call anybody and if I must call someone, my palms get sweaty, my hands start shaking, and my voice cracks when I try to talk. I will try to e-mail if possible. If someone calls me, I will only answer if I recognize the number. I figure, if it’s important enough, they will leave a message and call back later.”
– Alecia Gibson, MN

“In any relationship, new or not, I very rarely would be the one to initiate contact. But if I were to, the conversation would be short and to the point. I consider phone calls a necessary evil. Just the facts. The phone is just a means to set up a real meeting, in person. Or in some cases to cancel. I much prefer to see people in person because it’s easier to read them when you can see their physical reaction to what you are saying or to what they are saying. On the phone, it’s like being blind, a whole, very important sense is missing.”
– Erin Walsh

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