When beginning new relationships, many people decide to proceed with caution and take their time getting to know the other person. With the slower pace in mind, many couples begin with brief phone calls to first test the waters of the new relationship.
By making brief phone calls at first, couples may make more time to spend together in person. Brief calls give a glimpse into each person’s life without becoming overwhelming or divulging too much at once. Brief phone conversations preserve a level of mystery while increasing small bits of knowledge about each person. These shorter phone calls offer a great way to keep both parties interested and coming back for more.
Life Love Beauty readers have kindly share their own thoughts on having brief phone conversations at first in new relationships and then having longer conversations in a more established relationships. Read on for more insight into testing the waters of new relationships with brief phone calls.
“My strategy in a New Relationship would be to avoid “drawn out conversation” during the first few phone calls/first couple of weeks at best. Your calls should be very brief and to the point and should be limited to twice a week (at the beginning of course).
“A quick call in my eyes would be, “Hey, it’s me and I was just wondering if you’d like to catch a movie with me later this week; let me know, catch ya later”. This is in the case that you catch his voice mail or you’re sending a text message. If by chance he’s watching his phone for your calls, then maybe a bit more of a lengthy phone call would or could be necessary. I guess this would all depend on how the first date went and how the connection was between the two physically.”
- Barbara Baker, TX
“In a new relationship I have always been a little shy about calling first but I manage to work up the courage eventually. In the beginning the calls are short and sweet but as I get to know the person better the calls get longer as the awkwardness fades and we begin to learn more about each other and find more things that we have in common. The more you find you have in common the more you have to talk about and thus better and longer more interesting conversations.”
- Michael Pease, VT
“I always prefer to make the first call short and very fun. I think its safer for me to obtain his phone number and decide when the right time to call will be. I also always block my number until I am comfortable allowing him to have it.”
- Jayne Burchfield, KY
“My style is quick, to-the-point and off the phone as quickly as possible when I am calling anyone except my mother or my best friend. When I call my mom, I let her mood be the guide. If she wants to talk, I’m ready to converse as long as she wants. If she doesn’t feel well, I let her go when I sense she is too tired. With my best friend, actually, the call could go on for hours into the night, stopping for snacks and bathroom runs!”
- Debbie Christie, KY
“I usually wait for him to call me once I give him my phone number. Then when he calls I see how well the conversation is going. Is he interesting, funny, open, has the same interests as me, does he talk about his family and friends and what’s going on is his life. If he doesn’t pass those qualities the phone call will end quickly.
“I’ve had long phone conversations. I was in a long distance relationship once and we use to call and watch movies together on the phone. Even have dinner together on the phone. We text all day as well. It seemed like each month I had to up my minutes and max them out.”
- Jennifer Clark, GA
“Being female, I have found the best strategy is to let the guy call first. That shows that he is interested. From there, I keep the conversation short and casual. I have found that guys like to feel that they are chasing and you benefit best with acting coy.”
- Margaret Smith, NJ
“Calling strategy: I think it is important to give people space. So I would not call right away, but wait a day or two. I would leave a message if they weren’t available but texting is too informal when you first meet someone. Phone style: Somewhat short phone calls as I am usually busy but I think it is important to make the calls positive (not just when you need something) to let them know you care.”
- Heather Simone, GA
“In regards to phone I tend to keep everything short and sweet. I prefer to do things in person. If I get the answering machine I do the courtesy of leaving a message–short and sweet!”
- Thomas Gerber, NE