Balanced Telephone Strategy in New Relationships – Men and Women Can Both Call, Sometimes Wait for the Guy to Call First

In many new relationships these days, men and women are sharing the responsibility of calling their new love interest. Many couples are engaging in a balanced phone style and calling strategy. (photo courtesy of couples tend to be taking a balanced telephone strategy in their new relationships. While many women may still prefer for the men to make the first call in a new relationship, they’re just as willing to carry on the communication once things get started.

Our readers were kind enough to share some thoughts on their own calling strategies in a new relationship. Here they explain how they feel about keeping a balanced telephone strategy in new relationships, and how they go about doing so. Read on to learn about a balanced telephone strategy in new relationships.

“I always like to wait for the first call when I meet somebody new.  I love talking on the phone so long calls are usually my style. After, the fist call I call maybe start calling twice a day but the calls last long in time. When there is no answer I usually I leave a message, or send a text. It really depends if I really need you now or later.”
– Julie Gutierrez, CA

“My calling strategy in a new relationship is to call once every couple of days.  Every day isn’t a problem as long as you keep the conversations brief and positive.  Once a day isn’t a problem if the conversations are not long and burdensome.  Call with a quick question or thought, and then play it by ear.  Listen to how the other person is responding and make sure to not drag it on longer than needed.  You don’t want to appear clingy.  You want to come off as confident enough to call, but independent enough to not to need to chat.”
– Lisa Pembleton, KS

“My calling strategy in a new relationship is I let them call me first but if a week goes by I pick up the phone and give them a quick shout, if no answer then I will leave a message and move on. My phone conversation style is if I am talking to one of my best buddies I will talk forever.”
– Tamara Bennington, FL

“I just recently started online dating about six month ago.  I prefer a guy to call me, but that is after doing a lot of chatting online and instant messaging.  After that initial contact, it basically depends on the guy I am communicating with…some like frequent updates and others would rather communicate all at once.   I would definitely leave a message if there is no answer.  It is just common courtesy.  As the relationship deepens the phone conversations seem to get longer and longer and the texts shorter.  And I am happy to say I now own a promise ring from a very special guy.”
– Katherine Frazier, OH

“Calling strategy in new relationship – It’s been so long I forget!!!! 🙂  In the past I normally wait for the guy to give me a call and then I will call him and text him every so often if I have a quick thing to share with him… as long as he texts me back and it’s not one sided. 🙂 I tend to have long  calls with friends or guys… sometimes I make quick calls if I just have to tell them something or ask a question… depends.”  🙂
– Jean Hallinan, NY

“I let him call first then I guess I would wait a day and call back.”
– Joan Olson, FL

“In a new relationship, my calling strategy is to wait and let “him” call so I don’t seem desperate. After we’re dating exclusively, I’ll call / text once a day to chat and leave a message if he’s out. To be honest, I’m not a ‘Chatty Kathy’ – I prefer quick calls!”
– Zara Riley Knox, NC

“I always went with my gut as far as when to call after meeting someone. I usually waited a couple days, if I didn’t hear from them, I would call. But only if I wanted to see them again. Sometimes I was happy that I didn’t get a call since I had no intention of continuing the relationship. When I was dating, there were no text messages. I usually would not leave a message. I would try again later and try to get the person at home.”
– Melanie Diehl, PA

“In a new relationship, I usually let the other person call me first once or twice and see what they say during those times.  That way, I’ll learn whether they like to talk and I need to set aside time for conversations or if they get straight to the point.  I don’t normally start opening up to people until I see whether I can trust them or not.  My calling style depends on whether I have time to talk or not.  If it’s someone I feel I can trust, I like to talk for a longer period of time.  If I don’t know the person at all, I usually get right to the point.”
– Donna Hunt, NJ

Many couples are engaging in a balanced phone style and calling strategy. (photo courtesy of“In a new relationship I let the guy call me, but once things get a little more serious I call at least once a day. If he can’t answer the phone I make sure to leave a message, something I know will make him smile when he hears it. I also don’t really text because it seems too impersonal and why spend 10 minutes on a text message you could have spoken in less than sixty seconds. My phone conversation style entails me calling when I need something for the most part or I just have quick message, which almost always turns into a really long conversation. Thank God for unlimited minutes.” 🙂
– Chelsea Daigle, LA

“When I first meet someone I’m interested in, I wait about a week then call and ask them how they’ve been and if they would like to go to lunch.”
– Joyce McAulay, MI

“I don’t call the man first.  Most men don’t like it.  I let him do most of the calling.  I like long conversations, but it really depends on the reason for the call.  It is also nice to have brief calls to let him know I am thinking about him if he likes that.”
– Donna Kozar, IN

“I call the day after a first date and I follow up two days later to see if the interest is still there. My phone conversation type is brief and to the point!”
– Richard Hicks, NC

“Calling strategy is to call on the fourth day following the first date. If I get voicemail, then I send a text once. And that’s it. If there’s no return contact then I move on. Life’s too short. If I make contact, the conversation is short. Don’t want to wear out the welcome. It probably lasts no more than 10 minutes. I’ll call once more after that, then the next call will be up to the other person.”
– Robin Bullock, CO

“I am old fashioned and initially wait for a man to call me. After he does and shows interest, I then feel free to call him whenever I wish. My talking style in a new relationship is to talk for a very long time about everything under the sun.”
– Denise Sachs, CO

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