9 Reasons Why He May Not Propose (Right Now or Ever)

Waiting for your boyfriend to propose can be a tiresome, exasperating experience, especially if you don’t know where he is coming from. Having conversations about your future can help, or it may leave you dangling with even more questions. Why won’t he propose? Is something wrong with me? Why do my friends get engaged but I don’t?

If you are always the bridesmaid and never the bride, or maybe just depressed by weddings in general, these observations below should give you some insight into the inner workings of a guy’s mind. While these reasons why he may not propose don’t necessarily cover all the bases, these are a lot of common reasons why a guy may not ask you to marry him when you expect that he should.

1.    He wants to be financially responsible and needs to have all his ducks in a row before he proposes. Maybe he’s waiting for a better job. Maybe he is trying to save a bigger down payment for a house to buy with you. It really doesn’t matter what the holdup is – the end result is the same. This man loves you and wants to be a good provider. He may not be on your time table, but at least you can rest assured he is in it for the long haul.

2.    He’s a free spirit who is perfectly content to drive through life one day at a time. Lots of people – both men and women – find themselves in a state of complacency. Occasionally one of them hits a wall and everything comes tumbling down. If your man is a free spirit who likes to live life day by day with one small adventure at a time, you may have better luck talking to a wall than trying to reason with him. However, he could one day hit the wall that changes his mind and gets him motivated to explore his life to the fullest.

3.    He doesn’t want to be the first one of his friends to get married. Some guys find the right girl and can’t wait to tie the knot, no matter what. Other guys may find the right girl, and love her like crazy, but find themselves not ready to make things more permanent. Give him some time. We know it can be excruciating to watch all your girlfriends pair off and get married, but remember that nothing is gained by rushing in too fast.

4.    He still feels like a child himself and doesn’t want to grow up too fast. If your guy loves video games, drinking parties, going out with the guys all the time, and / or lives in his parents’ basement (no offense if he does!), it may be time to help him move toward maturity. Again, a couple of years here might make all the difference.

5.    He has conflicting emotions and emotional baggage from a previous relationship. If your man has been burned in the past, chances are he’s a bit gun-shy. This emotional issue may not be a permanent one, but it could delay your union. Once your beau is able to get over his emotional baggage, he should be able to gather up his courage and confidence to propose.

6.    The two of you want really different things out of life and he’s not sure that it will work. In closely examining relationships, many couples want different things out of life. If you disagree on major issues, such as having kids, where you live, etc., you may find yourselves in a predicament prior to getting engaged. In this case, he is protecting himself, but also you, by not rushing in despite your differences. If you think this could be the case, perhaps you can work out your differences for a better shot at your future.

7.    He likes you, and loves you, but he’s not sure if it’s that “forever” kind of love. We hate to think about this one, yet it does creep into our minds every once in a while. If the two of you don’t exchange “I love yous” or kind thoughts and sentiments even once in a while, this might be a cause for concern. You could always try having the “where-do-you-see-things-going” conversation… unless of course you’ve already had it… sixteen times… with no resolution. (sigh) Good luck.

8.    He’s a player and he’s waiting for the next best thing to come along. While we would hope this is not the case, there are times when the man fits the mold. If he is secretive, has lots of female friends, and doesn’t commit, you might become a bit suspicious if this is the case. Unless you can catch him (without snooping or stalking, of course), it’s quite difficult to prove this, and often it’s difficult to get past.

9.    He doesn’t want to get married. Maybe his parents had a rough marriage and he went through a lot as a kid. Maybe he has seen more than his share of ups and downs in relationships of those around him. Maybe he just doesn’t want to get married and doesn’t know why. A number of people do occasionally decide to live together and go through life as if they are married but without the titles or the actual authenticity of being married. If you want to get married and he falls into this category, you might want to consider all the factors and choose your best move.

Book Review – “Stern Men” by Elizabeth Gilbert

A novel with an interesting tale to tell, “Stern Men” by Elizabeth Gilbert is a book for those who enjoy reading as much for the style as for the tale. altDespite this fact, this is not a story for those who enjoy an easy-to-read novel that one cannot bear to put down. Far from the light and breezy style of a Harlequin romance novel, “Stern Men” offers a sedate story that winds through several generations of the heroine’s family. If one can hang in there for the finish, it is worth the wait.

Although I did indeed find myself laughing out loud at times, I also found myself wishing that these moments were more frequent. Perhaps I’ve changed in my likes and dislikes as far as reading goes because this is exactly the type of novel that I used to enjoy thoroughly and completely. Unfortunately, I cannot say this is true anymore. If you want to read a book of substance, then this is a book that you should pick up. If you want a quick read, visit the corner store.

Set off the coast of Maine, the novel traverses the lives of strong women who must undergo discrimination, recrimination, and the lot that befalls them simply because of birth. The tale takes one along the lives of women who suffer much while trying to find a few moments of happiness. It involves the lives of people who live separately on two remote islands. Despite the separate nature of these lives, they become intertwined in a not-so-happy manner.

The heroine of “Stern Men” has a mind of her own and finds a way to combat the idiosyncrasies of island living. Embracing her heritage and doping with the provincial minds of men set in their ways, she breaks out of the mold and uses her wits and intelligence to forge a life for herself on the islands that have been so dominated by men all of these years.

One of the facets to this book that I did thoroughly enjoy are the little tidbits of lobster lore at the beginning of each chapter that were culled from various sources including “The Lobster Fishery of Maine,” “The American Lobster: A Study of Its Habits and Development,” and “Crab, Shrimp, and Lobster Lore.” Each of these tidbits is interesting and educational at the same time.

For readers who can smell the salt of the sea almost upon command or taste the flesh of expertly cooked lobster at will, “Stern Men” is the read they are looking to enjoy. In fact, for readers who enjoy seeing women get the best of men, this is a story that is sure to please.

Editor’s Note: You can order “Stern Men” by Elizabeth Gilbert online at Amazon.com as a paperback at a bargain price.

Top 10 Fun and Exciting Summer Double Date Ideas

Summer creates the perfect time of year to plan fun and exciting double dates. You and your best friend or your sweetheart and theirs can have a blast enjoying countless summer double date ideas, from the adventurous and athletic to the relaxing and entertaining. Consider these top 10 fun and exciting summer double date ideas to give you an idea of what kind of group date suits you best.

1.    Go tubing or whitewater rafting in a nearby river.
For the more adventurous crowd, consider an exciting double date upon the water. You can bring a water-resistant underwater camera to capture the unforgettable memories you make on this wild and crazy dating excursion.

2.    Plan a camping trip for your group either at a campground or another recognized camping locale. You can have a campfire, or better yet, cook over a campfire. Enjoy a hike or take some time out on the lake. Any way you slice it, a camping trip can be a wonderful weekend double date idea for the summer.

3.    Visit a local winery for a tour of the vineyard and a wine tasting session. A number of wineries offer complimentary tastings with the hopes that you’ll bring home a bottle or two of your favorite wines. Other wineries offer a nominal tasting fee but deliver a fine tour of the winery and its facilities as well as a healthy tasting session. A winery tour and tasting makes a lovely double date idea for couples of any age, for any time of year, but especially during the lovely summer months.

4.    Find a festival with outdoor music on a nice day. There’s nothing quite like live music on a beautiful, sunny day to lift your spirits and your mood. Get together with your sweetheart and your favorite couple for a fun day of music, food, and outdoor entertainment.

5.    Rent paddleboats and cruise around the lake together. For a fun double date idea in the summer, why not spend some time on the lake with a paddleboat? You can get a paddleboat for four people to fit everyone or rent two separate paddleboats, with one for each couple. Either way, you’re sure to have a great time floating and paddling about.

6.    Check out a local farmer’s market. Sometimes walking around and taking in the sights, sounds, and smells can be an interesting way to spend a day. At the farmer’s market you can enjoy all kinds of food, various items for sale, and people-watching, among other things. Bring home some fresh produce from the farmer’s market and make a nice garden salad or fruit salad for your group when you are done.

7.    Take a day trip to the beach and the boardwalk, even though things haven’t completely ramped up for the main season yet. Play some two-on-two beach soccer or doubles beach volleyball for an exciting double date competition. Spice things up with boys against girls or play in couples mode for a more romantic approach.

8.    Go on a deep sea fishing double date excursion. No matter what the ages or expertise of your group date, you can enjoy a really fun and exciting summertime double date on a deep sea fishing boat. Head boats go out into the ocean and provide everything you need for a relaxing or invigorating day of fishing, from fishing rods and tackle to beverages, interior cabin, etc. For a few extra bucks, everyone can chip in to the fishing pool and try their luck at a chance to win the money for landing the biggest catch.

9.    Play teams in miniature golf or chip-n-putt. Miniature golf is a classic and timeless double date idea for summertime or even spring and fall. You can play teams as couples or even boys against girls, depending on how closely knit your group happens to be. Once you’ve finished the last hole, tally up the scores. The losing team buys ice cream or Italian water ice for the winning team and themselves!

10.    Go to a drive-in movie. This can be a fun summer double date idea for a group of friends who’ve been good friends for a while. Don’t forget to bring popcorn, movie candy, other snacks as desired, and beverages.

Top 10 Date Ideas for Weeknights

Weeknights can be a tricky time to fit in a date, but dates on weeknights can be essential to strengthening your relationship and your romantic bond. Whether you are boyfriend and girlfriend or husband and wife, a weeknight date every once in a while can go a long way to bringing you closer together.

If you don’t yet live together, weeknight dates nicely increase the amount of time you get to spend with your significant other, giving you an extra few hours on top of the typical weekend. If you are married and living together, weeknight dates can help to keep your relationship fresh and exciting or they can help to reignite the spark that first drew you together.

No matter if you are dating or married, here are 10 date ideas for couples to enjoy on weeknights:

1.    The tried and true dinner and a movie date never really goes out of style. You can do this one every week or every other week, or once a month if budget is a concern. But, the dinner and a movie date gives you a nice chance to talk over dinner and then relax together, holding hands as you watch a new flick on the big screen.

2.    Join a local sports league that has one game per week. You might consider a volleyball team, dodge ball, kickball, softball, flag football, indoor soccer, etc.

3.    Go for a walk together. You can stroll around your neighborhood, around the park, or somewhere new you haven’t yet explored.

4.    Take a trip to the mall, a furniture store, or an art gallery. You can scour the stores, walls, and warehouses for a perfect new addition to your home or apartment. Then, when you are all done, treat yourselves to dinner at a favorite nearby restaurant.

5.    Go to a hockey game, baseball game, or even a Monday night football game. You and your sweetie can snuggle up while cheering on your favorite professional, semi-pro, or even college or high school athletes.

Take an art class or do a craft together for a fun weeknight date. (photo courtesy of morgueFile)6.    Take an art class or a photography workshop together. You can enhance your skills and explore creative talents you may not even know you have. Painting, sculpture, and ceramics are just a few options. Such a class may only involve a few hours on a weeknight – a perfect non-weekend date.

7.    Check out a carnival or fair near you. You can have a lot of fun trying to win prizes, riding on the rides, and eating cotton candy and funnel cake all night long. Carnivals and fairs can be great weeknight date ideas, but they only come around to your town or area every so often, so keep a lookout!

8.    A concert makes a great weeknight date…
if you don’t mind being tired and half-deaf at work the next day. A Thursday night might be the ideal concert date night, since you’d only have to make it through Friday then. You can really have a lot of fun listening to live music and being in each others’ company.

9.    Visit your favorite local bar for Karaoke. You might have even more fun if you open this weeknight date idea up into a weeknight double date idea. Get together with your sweetheart and your friends for a night of fun and entertainment. And if you happen to overdo it at the bar, well, hey, it may not be the first time you had to call out sick on a workday.

10.    Order take-out and enjoy a lazy, relaxed meal in front of the television. Let’s face it… some nights we are just too darn tired and stressed from work to want to go out or do anything. Why not indulge yourselves in a chance to relax… together. Order some take-out food – Chinese food, cheese steaks, pizza, etc., and simply relax on your comfy couch and watch a movie, prime time television, or Sports Center. You know you want to.

Flirty Things to Say to Your Lover or Crush via Text Message… AKA: Flirtexting

Thanks to technology, girls and guys now get to interpret text messages as a means of communication, flirting, and joking around. Texting back and forth with friends and significant others becomes a habit as much as a convenience. There’s something to be said for being able to instantly and silently communicate with your sweetheart anytime, anywhere (just about).

Flirting via text message can be a lot of fun in an established relationship or a new relationship, but while fun and exciting, it can also be partially confusing in a new relationship. I recently had a male friend of mine ask me what he should respond to his new love interest’s text message, “Just bought a cute sundress for the weekend!”

Flirtexting: How To Text Your Way To His HeartAt the time, I wasn’t sure how serious the two of them were, so I asked my friend if they usually joke around or if they tend to be pretty straightforward. I could think of half a dozen flirty text messages for him to text back, but I didn’t want to give him the wrong advice or even the right advice at the wrong time. He took my advice to simply gauge his response based on the dynamics of their relationship – joking around.

Debra Goldstein and Olivia Baniuszewicz recognized the rising trend of flirting through text messages and thus came up with their book, Flirtexting: How To Text Your Way To His Heart. Together, Goldstein and Baniuszewicz share the following fun flirtexts, or flirty text messages, that guys could send to girls as well as a few somewhat racy flirtexts that girls could send to their steady boyfriends.

Here is a list of some fun flirtexts guys could send girls – mostly to ask them out – from Debra Goldstein and Olivia Baniuszewicz:

Flirty Texts for Guys to Send to Girls They Like:
•    What’s a guy gotta do to get a 5’8 (pretty attractive) brunette to go to dinner with him? (*Girls like it when you don’t gush and awe over them right off the bat. Small subtleties or hints of her attractiveness will make her blush and speak volumes without outright saying it.)

•    Drinks with a handsome funny guy named Phil. Who’s in? OR Drinks with a handsome funny guy named Phil? If you’re in raise your hand.

•    Dinner and a movie? Please inquire within.

•    I was just talking with X (your best friend), she/he thinks we should get married. Spring wedding sound good? (Expect an LOL response.)

•    Your company, my American Express. You name the spot.

•    Cancel all your plans. You’re mine tonight.

•    Word on the streets is Resto has the best hamburgers in town. I don’t believe it. Taste test this weekend?

•    Be ready at 8. I’m taking you out.

– Suggestions courtesy of Debra Goldstein and Olivia Baniuszewicz

Here are some great flirtexts for girls to send their boyfriends to keep relationships exciting! Please note, Goldstein and Baniuszewicz only recommend these flirty text messages to girls in serious relationships.

Keep Reading: Flirty Texts for Girls to Send to Their Steady Boyfriends…

Top 10 Fun Spring Date Ideas for Couples

Springtime is a wonderful time to explore a new love or reignite the spark of your established relationship. Whether you are looking for a first date idea in the spring, a springtime double date idea, or a romantic date for your steady relationship, spring is the season of love and new beginnings in nature. Consider these top 10 fun spring date ideas for couples to help you easily plan your romantic date or double date.

1.    Pick wildflowers together. Visit a meadow, park, or other nature-filled location and pick a few wildflowers together. See who can find the most beautiful flower during your date, and then place a blanket on the ground and lay back to find shapes in the clouds together.

2.    Go fishing together and see who can catch the biggest fish or the most fish. What fun a spring date becomes when you add in the element of competition. Challenge your date to a fishing contest and see who wins. Just be sure you have a fishing license if your state requires it.

3.    Go for a walk in the park or other nature habitat and try to identify different bird calls.
You can have a lot of fun learning new things about nature together. Before your bird-watching trip, check out the birds that are native to your area and try to identify at least a few that you can keep an eye and an ear out for. You may be able to find recordings of their specific bird calls online to help acquaint you with each different species. You could also go for a hike along a scenic canal, river, or up a beautiful mountain.

4.    Visit a park with an onsite lake and spend some time skipping stones. Your spring date idea doesn’t have to cost money and it surely doesn’t have to be elaborate. Relax, enjoy the beautiful, natural scenery, and skip stones, casting your cares away.

5.    Rent a boat on a nice sunny day and cruise around the lake. Consider a canoe or a rowboat for the two of you or a larger boat like a pontoon boat for a group date. Boating can be lots of fun for a spring or summer date.

6.    Plan a picnic lunch. One of the most romantic warm weather date ideas is going on a picnic with the one you love or like. Make up some sandwiches or kick things up a notch and pick up a bottle of wine and a ring of shrimp cocktail for an especially romantic picnic lunch. Find a beautiful spot to set your blanket and indulge in each other’s company.

7.    Take an early trip to the seashore, even though the ocean may not be warm enough for swimming. As long as you have some sunshine and a decent temperature, you can comb the shoreline for seashells, beach glass, driftwood, and pretty stones. You can also take a walk along the boardwalk to enjoy the sights and discover if any of the attractions are open to the public yet. This makes a special and memorable spring date idea.

8.    Attend a major league or minor league baseball game, or playoff hockey game if that is more your speed. A baseball game can be great fun for sports fans, and springtime makes for nice weather to plan a date to the ballpark. Buy a couple of beers, hotdogs, and soft pretzels and you should be all set for a delightful and fun spring date.

9.    Challenge your sweetheart to a round of miniature golf or chip-n-putt. After you putt up or shut up, the loser buys ice cream or Italian water ice for both of you to enjoy.

10.    Take a workshop or art class and learn to do a new craft or skill together. You can do something creative like pottery or ceramics or something a bit more outrageous for your spring date idea – like glassblowing! Look for venues offering classes near you as you plan your fun and exciting spring date.

Perfume: Your Handy Little Seduction Sidekick

It happens to all of us. You’re standing in a room or passing by a crowded street or sidewalk and all of the sudden, a truly tantalizing scent catches you completely by surprise. Almost unconsciously, your head swivels as you crane your neck to catch a glimpse of the one who nearly lifted you off your feet with such an arousing fragrance. You, too, can seduce men with your favorite perfume fragrance, simply by following these easy tips and getting a little creative on your own.

The general consensus seems to point out that scent is the strongest sense tied to memory. Selecting the right fragrance to suit you becomes a sort of art as you attempt to find the perfect blend between flirty flowers, juicy fruits, musk and more. Once you find the ideal scent to match your personality – sexy, playful, subtle and so forth – you can begin to take advantage of the powerful impact fragrance has on members of the opposite sex. Consider investing in a travel-sized vial of your preferred perfume as well, so you can easily transport it and always have it with you for a quick freshening up.

As you become comfortable with your new fragrance, take things to the next level by introducing it into your love life. If you won’t see your sweetheart for a number of days or weeks, be sure to pen a passionate love letter, and don’t forget to spritz a little of your perfume on the stationery before you pour your heart onto it. If you’re feeling especially daring (or sappy) you can complete the romantic effect by sealing the envelope with a lipstick smooch.

Another great tactic is to spray a bit of perfume on yourself just before you borrow an article of his clothing. If you’ll be wearing his jacket for a while in the colder weather, spray a little perfume on the back of your neck without getting any directly on his coat. This way it will subtly adhere to the coat’s collar so he notices your fragrance and thinks of you immediately the next time he wears it.

If you forget to bring your pajamas and have to borrow a t-shirt one night, just spray a tiny bit of your fragrance on your body to gently introduce it onto his clothing. Whether he wears the shirt again or washes it when he gets it back, he’s sure to recognize your fragrance.

For the grand finale, linger in bed just a little while longer than your honey does. When he leaves the room to brush his teeth or shower, spritz some perfume on his pillow, either on top or bottom, or a little bit on both sides.

This tactic is especially effective if you won’t see each other for a little while, because you know you will be the last thing he thinks about before he falls to sleep, and also the first thing he imagines when he wakes up. As soon as his head hits the pillow you will be on his mind, and if not in his arms, what better place to be?

Seductive Places to Target with Your Perfume:
–    Spray a little perfume on letters and birthday or holiday cards.

–    Let a little of your fragrance remain on his clothing that he lets you borrow.

–    Apply a little perfume to your pulse points while you are in his car so the fragrance lingers just a bit.

–    Leave him a gentle, sexy reminder by spraying a little bit of perfume on his pillow, especially when you won’t be around.

–    If he keeps a blanket in his car or draped across his couch, be sure to introduce just a touch of your favorite fragrance so he thinks of you right away when he uses it.

Perfume is a wonderful invention, allowing you to make your presence known, even in your absence! Get creative and realize that this aromatic accessory can enhance your romantic side, intrigue your partner, and bring your face to mind even when you aren’t physically present. With perfume, you can seduce your man in a number of ways, but you’ve just got to be creative. Instigate more intimate moments with a spritz here and there of a sexy, flirty fragrance. You won’t regret it!

Fun, Flirty and Frisky – What Does the Color of Your Lingerie Say About You?

So ladies, what thoughts swirl through your mind as you choose your undergarments for a day at work, a lazy afternoon at home, a night that you’ll be spending with your lover? And guys, do you even notice the color of your sweetheart’s panties? Is the color or style of her panties more important?

Of course we all know that most guys totally dig thongs. Plain as can be or boasting all the bells and whistles of buttons, buckles, and beads – it really matters not. As long as they’re sexy, skintight, and barely there, you’re a shoe-in with your mate. Even though they aren’t always the most comfortable skivvies in the world, thongs save our tails when it comes to erasing panty lines.

“Granny panties,” a term popularized by some teen movie, sure seem to take a lot of heat from males who get too spoiled by their girlfriends’ selection of sexy unmentionables. If women are not feeling well, if just bumming around the house, or even if they are just too lazy to do wash, “normal” panties often come in handy. Some women refuse to call these panties grannies. Others tend to like these styles of underwear best. It really all comes down to individual, personal preference.

So we’ve been through the style sequence… But what does your choice of color say about you?

Black: Sexiness, Seduction, Secretive or just plain “I want to get some tonight, baby!”

Red: Passionate, Romantic, Erotic… “I want to be romanced tonight…take my breath away, lover…”

Pink: Delicate, Flirty, Youthful… “You might get lucky, you might not… but I am yours tonight!”

White: Innocent, Virginal, Pure… “Be gentle with me, and I may have some fun with you!”

Blue: Bold, Strong, Mischievous… “I’m in control tonight, sexy” *wink*

Purple: Mysterious… “I like to keep you guessing…I’ll spring you when you least expect it!”

Orange: Playful… “Let’s have some fun tonight!”

Green: Anything Goes… “No location is too risky for me!”

Leopard Print: “Rwar, I’m an animal, baby. Let’s get wild!”

None: SOMEBODY’S GETTIN’ SOME TONIGHT!!!!!

DISCLAIMER: These descriptions were created on a passing whim – they are meant to make you chuckle or dispute their meanings, nothing further… just food for thought, for pure enjoyment purposes! Please consult your Victoria’s Secret Specialist or other lingerie shop attendant if you are seeking true advice!

Five things they never tell you about dating: What you need to know about dating before “The One” gets away…

Been dreaming about your wedding or your soul mate ever since you were old enough to spell “romance”? Admit it, we’ve all scrawled our desired future married names across our notebook covers at some time or another. Everyone yearns for that one special person to make our corner of the world that much warmer and more wonderful.

Life teaches lessons in funny ways, and we don’t always get a map and guidebook to lead us in the right direction. Often, the best teacher is experience after experience after experience, or, if we are lucky, the experiences of others shared before we cash in on the same heartbreak. So here, to help prevent unnecessary heartbreak, I have compiled some well-known and some little known hints about finding—and keeping—a dream relationship.
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1. Make allowances for minor faults.  
As much as we would like to believe the perfect partner exists, no one is literally flawless in every respect. The key is to find someone whose faults are few and something you can tolerate in the long run.
Going along with that notion…

2.  Do not expect or convince yourself you can make a person change. People behave in certain ways for a reason. Sometimes it is to attract attention or to make a statement, but most times it is because it is their simple human nature.

One thing a lot of people do not realize is that for such a change to take place, the person must truly want to change. Smokers often do not just wake up one day and decide to quit cold turkey. At least not most times, because change is a process that takes time, commitment and adjustment. In most cases, it can be done, but generally not without great care and determination.

3. Do not plan your dream house location and children’s names on your first date… or until you have some form of security, for that matter. Too often we think we have found “the one” – our “perfect match”, before we really even get to know the person. Relax, be yourself, let your new love interest get to know your personality and its quirks before you delve into planning your future life together. It is perfectly fine and healthy to daydream and imagine these things, but do not obsess about them – and if you are unsure about whether or not that person reciprocates those feelings, perhaps it would be best to wait until you know before sharing the intense ones.

Sometimes one of the hardest things is realizing that someone is not the person you built them up to be, and with this revelation comes the smack in the face that you are back at square one once again. In time, though, reality sets in to remind you that this person was not right for you, and that so many other eligible bachelors and bachelorettes are waiting for their perfect match as well.

4. Don’t lose sight of your friends and family members.    
Sometimes it is so easy to get caught up in the novelty and flirtation of a budding relationship that we forget – or disregard – times we would normally spend with friends and family members or the plans we made with them.

Many people are understanding and accept the sudden lapse in time spent together, but every so often there may be a friend or loved one who takes your absence as a personal foul. It is very important to mend hard feelings if this should happen to one of your friendships at the risk of losing a friend if you wait too long.

I advise from personal experience in this case—my best friend at college changed her attitude and behavior toward me a great deal for the worse when I consistently spent more time with my boyfriend than I did with her. She felt as though I was avoiding her on purpose, ignoring her and our plans and generally letting the friendship slip. Well, the friendship slipped so far into the danger zone that it took months to retrieved it, and four years of a best friendship nearly went right down the tubes.

Because I have been there, it is very easy for me to warn you – it is much wiser to make time for your loved ones before things get out of hand and still find time to spend with your new flame.

5. If the glass slipper doesn’t fit, hold out for another prince or princess.
If you begin to get the feeling that things just are not “meant to be”, there is nothing wrong with giving the relationship a shot and seeing how things go. When you are certain that you cannot picture yourself with this person beyond a few dates to the movies or a night out to dinner – if you stopped getting butterflies or if you simply do not get excited when you hear their voice on the phone or see them throughout the week, chances are you may need to reconsider your relationship status.

Due to personality traits, likes and interests and general compatibility, reasons exist why everybody does not just wind up with anybody. Dating is a game of trial and error, but once a suitable match is made, everything seems to fall into place. If your dream relationship crumbles at your feet or if you simply cannot find your match-made-in-heaven, fret not, for love often lurks when and where it is least expected.

Brief Calls May Be Best at First in a New Relationship or Friendship, Long Calls for Established Relationships or Long Distance Relationships – Test the Waters

When beginning new relationships, many people decide to proceed with caution and take their time getting to know the other person. Shorter calls in the beginning of a new relationship may be a good way to break the ice. (photo courtesy of morgueFile.com)With the slower pace in mind, many couples begin with brief phone calls to first test the waters of the new relationship.

By making brief phone calls at first, couples may make more time to spend together in person. Brief calls give a glimpse into each person’s life without becoming overwhelming or divulging too much at once. Brief phone conversations preserve a level of mystery while increasing small bits of knowledge about each person. These shorter phone calls offer a great way to keep both parties interested and coming back for more.

Life Love Beauty readers have kindly share their own thoughts on having brief phone conversations at first in new relationships and then having longer conversations in a more established relationships. Read on for more insight into testing the waters of new relationships with brief phone calls.

“My strategy in a New Relationship would be to avoid “drawn out conversation” during the first few phone calls/first couple of weeks at best. Your calls should be very brief and to the point and should be limited to twice a week (at the beginning of course).

“A quick call in my eyes would be, “Hey, it’s me and I was just wondering if you’d like to catch a movie with me later this week; let me know, catch ya later”. This is in the case that you catch his voice mail or you’re sending a text message. If by chance he’s watching his phone for your calls, then maybe a bit more of a lengthy phone call would or could be necessary. I guess this would all depend on how the first date went and how the connection was between the two physically.”
– Barbara Baker, TX

“In a new relationship I have always been a little shy about calling first but I manage to work up the courage eventually. In the beginning the calls are short and sweet but as I get to know the person better the calls get longer as the awkwardness fades and we begin to learn more about each other and find more things that we have in common. The more you find you have in common the more you have to talk about and thus better and longer more interesting conversations.”
– Michael Pease, VT

“I always prefer to make the first call short and very fun.  I think its safer for me to obtain his phone number and decide when the right time to call will be. I also always block my number until I am comfortable allowing him to have it.”
– Jayne Burchfield, KY

“My style is quick, to-the-point and off the phone as quickly as possible when I am calling anyone except my mother or my best friend.  When I call my mom, I let her mood be the guide. If she wants to talk, I’m ready to converse as long as she wants.  If she doesn’t feel well, I let her go when I sense she is too tired.  With my best friend, actually, the call could go on for hours into the night, stopping for snacks and bathroom runs!”
– Debbie Christie, KY

Taking communication in new relationships at a slow pace may inspire more interest in some cases. (photo courtesy of morgueFile.com)“I usually wait for him to call me once I give him my phone number. Then when he calls I see how well the conversation is going. Is he interesting, funny, open, has the same interests as me, does he talk about his family and friends and what’s going on is his life. If he doesn’t pass those qualities the phone call will end quickly.

“I’ve had long phone conversations. I was in a long distance relationship once and we use to call and watch movies together on the phone. Even have dinner together on the phone. We text all day as well. It seemed like each month I had to up my minutes and max them out.”
– Jennifer Clark, GA

“Being female, I have found the best strategy is to let the guy call first. That shows that he is interested.  From there, I keep the conversation short and casual. I have found that guys like to feel that they are chasing and you benefit best with acting coy.”
– Margaret Smith, NJ

“Calling strategy: I think it is important to give people space.  So I would not call right away, but wait a day or two. I would leave a message if they weren’t available but texting is too informal when you first meet someone. Phone style: Somewhat short phone calls as I am usually busy but I think it is important to make the calls positive (not just when you need something) to let them know you care.”
– Heather Simone, GA

“In regards to phone I tend to keep everything short and sweet. I prefer to do things in person. If I get the answering machine I do the courtesy of leaving a message–short and sweet!”
– Thomas Gerber, NE

Old Fashioned Telephone Strategy vs. Modern Telephone Strategy in New Relationships

When it all comes down to it, some things never change and some things always change. Do you prefer the old fashioned telephone strategy or a more modern approach? (Photo courtesy of morgueFile)Telephone strategy in new relationships seems to be one of those ever-changing, never-changing things for people. Some women even today still like for the man to do the calling, while more and more other women are taking the lead in calling their love interests.

Old fashioned telephone strategy and modern telephone strategy can both work in relationships as long as both parties are comfortable using the telephone. If one party is not a fan of the phone, shorter telephone calls and more in-person meetings may be beneficial for this relationship.

Many of our readers have shared their perspectives on telephone strategy in new relationships, such as when to call and who should do the calling. We’ve found a fair split with a number of women preferring the man do the calling with a number of other women being happy to make the first call in the new relationship. Read on for personal accounts of telephone strategy and preferences in a new relationship.

Old Fashioned Telephone Strategy in New Relationships – Let the Man Call the Woman
“My calling strategy for a new relationship is to wait at least 24 hours before I call him. (If I really like him, I pray that he calls in that 24 hours.) After that, I may wait a little longer depending on the situation – up to 3 days.  If he hasn’t called by then, I call when I do not think he will answer and leave a message.  That puts the ball in his court.  If he calls, great. If not, we both move on. All of that being said, I would prefer that he do the calling. I’m an old-fashioned thinking southern belle, after all!”
– Cindy Badon, LA

“In a new relationship, I NEVER EVER call the man. He must call me to show me he is into me as in my experience men take much longer to fall!”
– Kayleigh Ann Farris, CA

“I don’t call the man first.  Most men don’t like it.  I let him do most of the calling.  I like long conversations, but it really depends on the reason for the call.  It is also nice to have brief calls to let him know I am thinking about him if he likes that.”
– Donna Kozar, IN

“Call me old fashioned (pun totally intended) but as a woman, I feel it is crucial that a man ask for my number first and he call me. Then, after the first date if she is still interested, communicate that clearly with tone and body language and let him call again. Women have grown too available and need to consider that part of the fun of dating and romance is the chase.”
– Sarah Conaway, VA

“My strategy is hard to get in a new relationship and to rely heavily on all the phones special features like, but not limited to caller Id. My phone style I wish I could say was brief and to the point – not, but tends to be long and very wordy!”
– Diane Baum

“I’m middle age so I’m a bit old school. I would let the man do the calling in a new relationship. If he leaves me a message to call him then I will. I don’t text so I would be leaving him a voicemail. I wouldn’t just call to talk until I really know him better and know that he likes to talk on the phone.  A lot of men do not.  I wouldn’t want him to think I’m being pushy.”
– Susan Smith, KS

“I waited for my husband to call first.”
– Aprill Marie Coleman, MS

Who should do the most calling - guys or girls? (Photo courtesy of morguefile.com)“In a new relationship? I haven’t had a new relationship in years.  But if I did I think I would not make the calls, I would let him. I would limit the time of his calls or my return calls at first to keep things fresh until we both feel comfortable with each other.”
– Marleen Davis, CA

“In a new relationship I usually don’t call first, that’s his job. After that I’ll call every once in a while just to say hello and I’m thinking about him. My typical phone conversation style is quick and to the point unless I’m talking to my hubby, my mom or one of my siblings then it’s a gab fest.”
– Laura Griggs, TX

“I always wait for him to call me first (Just picky I guess). I always keep my conversation 10 minutes or less – always leaving him wanting more and leaving more to talk about when we do see each other.”
– Suzy Horvath, OR

“I never make the first call, I was raised very strict and was taught never to call boys. I dated back in the seventies and if my parents ever caught me calling a boy it was a mortal sin according to them.

“Now I still wouldn’t call him, he would have to call me but I might make myself available at a spot that I know he might be and strike up a conversation there. I usually don’t hang on the phone too long. My conversations are rather short unless there happens to be a lot in common to chat about!”
– Joni Chadwell, PA

“I’d love to say I’m a liberated woman of the 21st century, but I’m not crazy about phoning a guy.  As much as I wish we were all equal, it always seems a guy loves the thrill of the hunt.  Sad, but true.  I’d love to find the man who wouldn’t feel threatened by something as minor as a phone call.  Until then, I still believe it’s best to wait for them to call ME. Sigh.”
– Jean Delehant

“Since I have not dated in 25 years, my ideas are probably antiquated. I do not think that women should call men. I would not want a text. I think that it is good to leave a message. I am not a talker so it is always short and sweet. I never called but of course I am old and have been married forever.”
– Kathy Scott, ID

Modern Take on Telephone Strategy in New Relationships – Women Can Do the Calling, Too…


Balanced Telephone Strategy in New Relationships – Men and Women Can Both Call, Sometimes Wait for the Guy to Call First

In many new relationships these days, men and women are sharing the responsibility of calling their new love interest. Many couples are engaging in a balanced phone style and calling strategy. (photo courtesy of morgueFile.com)Modern couples tend to be taking a balanced telephone strategy in their new relationships. While many women may still prefer for the men to make the first call in a new relationship, they’re just as willing to carry on the communication once things get started.

Our readers were kind enough to share some thoughts on their own calling strategies in a new relationship. Here they explain how they feel about keeping a balanced telephone strategy in new relationships, and how they go about doing so. Read on to learn about a balanced telephone strategy in new relationships.

“I always like to wait for the first call when I meet somebody new.  I love talking on the phone so long calls are usually my style. After, the fist call I call maybe start calling twice a day but the calls last long in time. When there is no answer I usually I leave a message, or send a text. It really depends if I really need you now or later.”
– Julie Gutierrez, CA

“My calling strategy in a new relationship is to call once every couple of days.  Every day isn’t a problem as long as you keep the conversations brief and positive.  Once a day isn’t a problem if the conversations are not long and burdensome.  Call with a quick question or thought, and then play it by ear.  Listen to how the other person is responding and make sure to not drag it on longer than needed.  You don’t want to appear clingy.  You want to come off as confident enough to call, but independent enough to not to need to chat.”
– Lisa Pembleton, KS

“My calling strategy in a new relationship is I let them call me first but if a week goes by I pick up the phone and give them a quick shout, if no answer then I will leave a message and move on. My phone conversation style is if I am talking to one of my best buddies I will talk forever.”
– Tamara Bennington, FL

“I just recently started online dating about six month ago.  I prefer a guy to call me, but that is after doing a lot of chatting online and instant messaging.  After that initial contact, it basically depends on the guy I am communicating with…some like frequent updates and others would rather communicate all at once.   I would definitely leave a message if there is no answer.  It is just common courtesy.  As the relationship deepens the phone conversations seem to get longer and longer and the texts shorter.  And I am happy to say I now own a promise ring from a very special guy.”
– Katherine Frazier, OH

“Calling strategy in new relationship – It’s been so long I forget!!!! 🙂  In the past I normally wait for the guy to give me a call and then I will call him and text him every so often if I have a quick thing to share with him… as long as he texts me back and it’s not one sided. 🙂 I tend to have long  calls with friends or guys… sometimes I make quick calls if I just have to tell them something or ask a question… depends.”  🙂
– Jean Hallinan, NY

“I let him call first then I guess I would wait a day and call back.”
– Joan Olson, FL

“In a new relationship, my calling strategy is to wait and let “him” call so I don’t seem desperate. After we’re dating exclusively, I’ll call / text once a day to chat and leave a message if he’s out. To be honest, I’m not a ‘Chatty Kathy’ – I prefer quick calls!”
– Zara Riley Knox, NC

“I always went with my gut as far as when to call after meeting someone. I usually waited a couple days, if I didn’t hear from them, I would call. But only if I wanted to see them again. Sometimes I was happy that I didn’t get a call since I had no intention of continuing the relationship. When I was dating, there were no text messages. I usually would not leave a message. I would try again later and try to get the person at home.”
– Melanie Diehl, PA

“In a new relationship, I usually let the other person call me first once or twice and see what they say during those times.  That way, I’ll learn whether they like to talk and I need to set aside time for conversations or if they get straight to the point.  I don’t normally start opening up to people until I see whether I can trust them or not.  My calling style depends on whether I have time to talk or not.  If it’s someone I feel I can trust, I like to talk for a longer period of time.  If I don’t know the person at all, I usually get right to the point.”
– Donna Hunt, NJ

Many couples are engaging in a balanced phone style and calling strategy. (photo courtesy of morgueFile.com)“In a new relationship I let the guy call me, but once things get a little more serious I call at least once a day. If he can’t answer the phone I make sure to leave a message, something I know will make him smile when he hears it. I also don’t really text because it seems too impersonal and why spend 10 minutes on a text message you could have spoken in less than sixty seconds. My phone conversation style entails me calling when I need something for the most part or I just have quick message, which almost always turns into a really long conversation. Thank God for unlimited minutes.” 🙂
– Chelsea Daigle, LA

“When I first meet someone I’m interested in, I wait about a week then call and ask them how they’ve been and if they would like to go to lunch.”
– Joyce McAulay, MI

“I don’t call the man first.  Most men don’t like it.  I let him do most of the calling.  I like long conversations, but it really depends on the reason for the call.  It is also nice to have brief calls to let him know I am thinking about him if he likes that.”
– Donna Kozar, IN

“I call the day after a first date and I follow up two days later to see if the interest is still there. My phone conversation type is brief and to the point!”
– Richard Hicks, NC

“Calling strategy is to call on the fourth day following the first date. If I get voicemail, then I send a text once. And that’s it. If there’s no return contact then I move on. Life’s too short. If I make contact, the conversation is short. Don’t want to wear out the welcome. It probably lasts no more than 10 minutes. I’ll call once more after that, then the next call will be up to the other person.”
– Robin Bullock, CO

“I am old fashioned and initially wait for a man to call me. After he does and shows interest, I then feel free to call him whenever I wish. My talking style in a new relationship is to talk for a very long time about everything under the sun.”
– Denise Sachs, CO